你的分享就是我们的动力 ---﹥

大家看看我修改后的套磁信有什么问题吗,欢迎提意见

Dear Professor XXX:
I am a Chinese master student and I would like to inquire whether you are currently accepting Ph.D. students in 2016. I am from the State Key Laboratory of XXXX with a focus on Geotechnical Engineering.
I have explored your website and read some of your paper in detail, and it seems like an excellent fit for me because of its emphasis on dynamic response of structures. My research chiefly focuses on the theories (including corresponding programs) and numerical simulation of the dynamic response of tunnels caused by operating subways — based on the interaction of rail, slab, lining and poroelastic soil.
I have written 4 English SCI papers (2 of those have been published). My experience in Dynamic Triaxial tests and Resonant Column tests gives me a better understanding of the dynamic characteristics of soils. I have also checked that there are many related facilities in your laboratory, which can satisfy my future research.
I believe we could have a good match, so I am keen to further my PhD studies with your supervision. You will find other details about me for your consideration in my CV attached. Thanks for sparing time to read my letter. I appreciate any time you can reply me.
Sincerely,
XXXX
enclosure: CV
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写的不错,中规中矩,可信度高
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挺好的,内容充实,也没废话
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太长了  要是我就直接无视了 把字数控制在200字以内,论文等其他信息放在CV里,你这么写信息量大重点不突出:D:D:D
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比较诚恳,但是感觉好像没有表现出来你的英文水平。